Monday, July 19, 2010

Words of Wedding Advice

Tom is the Director of Communications at Element Bars. He blogs on Mondays, is getting married on Saturday and asks that you bear with him in this post because he does have a point.

I am getting married this weekend. I can't wait, I have loved being engaged to my fiance but once I am married, I won't be engaged and if I am not engaged the awkward exchanges of engagement will stop. Here is one such awkward exchange depicted in my upcoming bio-picture Moments of Engagement:

TOM is meeting a group of adults he casually knows.Lots of small talk OLDER MAN HE KIND OF KNOWS corners him.ZOOM IN

I hear, you're getting married.

Hand drifts to TOM'S shoulder. TOM feels uncomfortable but an air of coolness still permeates him, think a Clooney/Newman hybrid but suaver, more handsome and with a much bigger nose.
Yes I am, it's exciting.

TOM backs away nervously smiling
OLDER MAN (loud to get attention of all around)
Can I give you two words of wisdom the only words you will ever need to know . . .
OLDER MAN pauses this is not a question.
Yes Dear!!!!
OLDER MAN cackles with laughter, other old men join him. TOM looks around for an emergency exit or duct tape. . . .

The movie is behind schedule due to casting difficulties. We are having problems finding anyone elegant enough to play my future mother-in-law, eloquent enough to play my own mother and we've given up on trying to find anyone who captures my eye like my fiance does.

But I write this because I want to give all future grooms two words of wisdom for their upcoming nuptials . . . Element Bars. I am serious. I have ordered bars for my wedding to give the guests snacks for their party favor bags, for the ride from the ceremony to the reception or for a post wedding snack. It's something my fiance and her mother don't have to worry about because they have more than enough on their plates. I was able to pick the ingredients and customize the name. I am not going to give away what I named the bars, but "I can't believe she said yes" and "I now pronounce you no longer hungry" were two names in the running.

So, future grooms, I can't provide you with much advice other than to find your soul-mate, the one person in the world that you are supposed to spend your life with. . . . and then order a bunch of Element Bars for the wedding so that person doesn't have to.

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